Today, I wore a dress over a pair of pants.
That is not me, by the way. That is a picture of some starlet that I found over at Go Fug Yourself.
Up until today, I felt the same away as the Fug Girls about wearing dresses over pants. I thought it was at best stupid and at worst unhinged. But then Allie at My Wardrobe Today (I am trying to link that, but the links are being weird--it's making my whole paragraph blue. It's my technical stupidity, I'm sure. So if the link doesn't work...sorry.) wore a dress over jeans while on vacation and it also looked a lot cuter than what we see above, so this morning when I couldn't find anything to match the new headband I got on the clearance rack at Target last night, I went for my green shift. The thing is, I had four students today, and if I wear the shift by itself, I have to wear heels. I knew my legs could not take both the students and the heels all day. I also knew that I had a kind of sheltered, pervy kid today, and a shorter dress is probably more of a "Don't threaten me with a good time" look rather than a look that says, "If the subject is plural, the verb had to be plural too!". So I put on my Gap Curvy Bootcuts, some big ole gold hoops, a bunch of bangles and my brown stacked flops from J.Crew. I checked the mirror. Like I said, the dress is kind of short--if I'm not careful and am not wearing the jeans you can be my gynecologist if you so desire. It kind of looked worldly, especially with my brown and ivory zebra print headband. I could be a hip globetrotting writer...or a standardized test tutor. I smacked on some lipgloss and headed out the door.
The day went well. No one commented, although what can you expect from a group who thinks the white Chuck Taylors count as dress shoes? Then I got home from my last lesson, came home and stretched out on my bed, and gazed at the husband. This is our conversation, as verbatim as I can remember it:
Matt: What are you wearing? Is that a dress over pants?
Me: Yeah, well....it's a short dress. Over pants.
Matt: I thought you hate that.
Me: Well, I do, I guess (pretend to be interested in American Justice).
Matt: Then why are you wearing it? It looks kind of weird.
Me: What do you mean "weird"?
Matt: You know that girl we knew who lived in the French house and smoked clove cigarettes? That girl who used to write weird things on her boobs? The one that wore the fur boots and said the word "existential" a lot. You look like her.
Me: (sigh, evil look, the sound of sudden acquisition of horrible headache for the next five nights)
Matt: Just so you know, that's not a good thing. (Looks at me). I'll be quiet now.
Back to American Justice. I really think Mumia killed that dude.
Anyway, I guess I'm not wearing this outfit again. It's a shame too, because it was really comfortable.I guess that brings us to fashion rule numero uno: looking good doesn't necessarily feel good. And fashion rule numero two: husbands suck.
1 comment:
Aww, you said don't threaten me with a good time. Love it!!!
And my husband too was like WTF, you HATE that look. Don't do it again. And I probably won't... but that night I was the diva of the gay karaoke and I think the dress over jeans was the reason why...
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