Nirvana in the Target Clearance Aisle

Ok. So you know that time I said that in the new year ('08 is still relatively new) I would post more. Yeah. Well. So I'm not great about keeping up with resolutions. Whatever. Also, it's the start of a very busy time of year for those of us in the test prep world, so I've let the ole blog slide while I got started with new students. But everyone is started now, and it's all good, so here I am. Ready to talk fashion and beauty and all those things that people think don't matter, but in reality, matter a whole hell of a lot? Yeah, me too.

So, also in the new year, I have tried to make better purchases. I am quite known, both in my family and amongst my friends, for being able to justify any purchase. A 40 gallon tub of mayonnaise? I make a lot of potato salad. A new Michael Kors bag with the tags still attached? Ebay, and a good deal--now watch me get out those ink marks using dishwashing liquid and the power of prayer. One major place where I overspend is Target (but doesn't everyone? Isn't that Target's raison d'etre?), and I get a lot of flack for this from my husband, who sometimes threatens to let the air out of my tires and tie me down to keep me from going there and buying more (useless) stuff. And of course this all devolves until he says (and I'm quoting here), "If you love Target so much, why don't you go marry it?" Ah, maturity. Anyway, so I overspend at Target. And I'm trying to correct that. One way I'm doing that is just not going there as much. Gone are the days where I would stop there after work without telling anyone and just show up on the doorstep with a cadre of new dinnerware. Sadly, I use this to justify purchases in other arenas, but we won't discuss that. Let's just say it's a resounding success, my Target abstinence.

But I have had to go there, for you know, that stuff that you really can't get anywhere else. I recently ran out of shampoo, conditioner, root boost, soap, and then broke a belt all in the same, stinky, flat-haired day. So I stopped by my favorite store. Remembering all the great reasons why I should be saving money, I hightailed it past the clothes and cosmetics and went back to the necessities sections. In the shampoo aisle, I found all the familiar brands. I was about to pick up another bottle of Pantene, when I saw L'Oreal Vive Pro out of the corner of my eye. I had heard good things about this brand, but it was on the other side of the aisle, where they stock the "better" "salon" shampoo. Too rich for my blood, I thought, reminding myself of the Micheal Kors bag incident above (I had just bought it that day--I bet you thought I was making up that story. I wasn't! But I did make up that 40 gallon tub of mayonnaise. I hate mayo. I do, however, have an institutional size jug of apple cider vinegar in my cabinet, purchased when my husband and I thought we would make NC style BBQ all summer. Yeah, we didn't. God, this is a big tangent. Sorry about this.). But then I saw the bright red sticker on the L'Oreal Vive Pro bottles! Score! It was on clearance! For what reason, I had no idea. Random botulism contamination? Could be. Older than either of my children? Also a possibility. Who cares? It was cheap and on the other side of the aisle--I slammed it in my cart. Now for root boost...and what do I see before my wandering eyes? A humongo bottle of Umberto brand Bodifier Root Building Spray with a red sticker. Was this stuff good? No clue. Who is Umberto? Again, I'm clueless (a quick google search proved that he is a "hairdresser to the stars" and makes a line exclusively for these salons...and Target). But it was on the other side of the aisle, and on clearance, so it went into my cart. I went to the check out line feeling like the most amazing shopper on the planet earth. I even brought the bottles out of my bag at home and showed my husband the receipt, something that 2007 Morgan would never do (2007 Morgan would often rip up Target receipts and leave them in the parking lot, away from my husband's frugal stare). I am awesome.

But the next morning, the cold slap of realization hit me square in the face: What if this stuff sucks? What if my shopping habits make me look like a dumbass? I got into the shower reluctantly. However, I soon found that the Vive stuff had not gone rotten on the Target shelves. It smelled nice. Nice lather. No complaints. I got out and went to blow dry my hair-here was the proof. Sprayed on the root boost, which actually kind of felt good coming out all concentrated like. And I blow dryed. I was almost scared to see the results. But then I brushed the hair out of my eyes, and VOILA. I believe my exact words were, "Shit the bed, Fred. I'm a SEXY BITCH." I had Victoria's Secret model hair, that is, if VS models had bangs and a chin length bob (that's totes me at right). It was all tousled, and full of body, and shiny, and like I had just had amazing sex with Ewan MacGregor in Moulin Rouge (before he got all hairy and motorcycly--you know what I'm talking about). I was awesome. And, to make things even more awesome, I got all this on the cheap.

I got a little bit bolder when I went to Target this last Friday night with my family. We had all just eaten a big sushi dinner, and were looking for some mindless consumerism for dessert. Plus, I had promised my kids a gift (action figure for Sam and cd for Gab) in lieu of Valentine's stuffed animals that would just be forgotten as soon as the holiday was over. I walked past the clothing section, and didn't pay it much mind. But then I saw the clearance rack! Oh, great clearance goddess, will you look upon me favorably a second time? I went over. And there, folks, was the navy blue dress that Allie from My Wardrobe Today found on her Target clearance rack. IN MY SIZE. Now this, folks, is just pure magic. For one thing, it was on the end, so I didn't have look through the whole rack. Second, Target clearance racks are never the same on both coasts. My mom and I have tried this, and know it to be a fact. But there it was. It looked awesome on her, so I grabbed it. I would not tempt fate--I threw it in the cart along with my kids stuff and some clearance racked Valentine's candy. AND, my husband found a bottle of wine with a red sticker on it, and while this really seems like something you wouldn't want to do, the $10 Chard was pretty good.

And the dress...it is damn cute. I'm wearing it right now, actually. I layered a gray long sleeved tee underneath, since it was cold this morning, and I'm wearing tan riding boots (I have to tell you about that too, I realize). I am cute. And it is super comfortable and I spent...$14.98 on it. That's a steal that even my husband can enjoy.

So check out the little red stickers at Target...beauty Nirvana awaits.

Coming soon (hopefully), I will discuss (in no particular order), wide-calf boots, and my 3 (!) new pairs of them, Clairol Perfect 10 hair color, Revlon Color Something or other that is that foundation that lets you pick your perfect shade and that Jessica Alba promotes in a somewhat grouchy sounding voice, and the great fashion shit storm that is Hannah Montana. And yes, I saw the movie. And yes it made me think of Blanche Devereaux of GG fame. Take from that what you may.

I'll leave you with this.