Ghouls and Goblins and Booties, Oh My!

Here in the Home of the Black Sweater, we are getting ready for Halloween. We have tombstones in the yard, Target brand cobwebs dotting the trees, and a talking witch hanging on our door. My children are obsessed with all things "scary": my daughter has been dutifully watching Goosebumps and other tween horror, and my son is putting in his time with old Scooby Doo DVD's, and declaring himself too scared for sleep. Matt and I have gotten into the act as well--we have some Netflixed horror flicks, and have indulged our sweet teeth (sweet tooth's?) with jack o'lantern shaped sugar cookies and (my favorite) chocolate dipped coconut macarroons.

But this is by far is the scariest thing I've seen this season:

This looks like something Peter Jackson thought up for Lord of the Rings 4: Fellowship with the Kind of Nerds Who Like these Kind of Movies (and I'll fully admit that my husband is one of those nerds). Yes, that's a bad joke. But this shoe is worse. I'll just say here and now: I hate ankle booties. They have to be the stupidest thing ever conceived. No only are they hideous looking, but they make anyone who wears them look about a foot shorter than they are because they cut off the leg line.

So in the spirit of a movie that I love that is not a horror movie, but rather, probably my very favorite John Cusack movie of all time, I give you

Morgan's Top Five Worst Fashions of All Time

1. Ankle booties. Not just these. All of them.

2. Pleated front khakis, and their evil step daughter, pleated front capris.

3. Those really long crochet vests. I used to have one when I was 17 and worked at JC Penney. It caught on everything. What was funny about it is that my mom had one at 17 as well, and everytime I put mine on, she would remark about how much she hated them. I didn't understand them, but now I do. Fuck crochet.

4. Crocs. You had to know that was coming.

5. Velour tracksuits, especially brightly colored ones. And the ones with writing across the ass keep me up at night, screaming into the night wind.

Consider yourself scared. Happy Halloween!