Cheap Thrills

So for someone who doesn't have a lot of cash, I sure have expensive tastes. Luckily, make-up is the only place where I indulge these exorbitant tastes. In fact, I never miss an opportunity to indulge them. And I justify every purchase like a champ...I once told my husband that DiorShow mascara cures cancer, AIDS and the common cold, and the only reason he hadn't had cancer/AIDS/recent colds is because I wear it. And that's not an out and out lie...in my eyes DiorShow does cure many of the world's wrongs, and if everyone in the world wore DiorShow, life would be much more manageable. I feel the same way about most of the things that Benefit makes and J.Crew featherweight merino v-neck sweaters (note: I just got a divine purple one. I put it on and feel like the totally awesome love child of Prince and J. Peterman--mostly because he's the only person I can think of who I feel would love merino wool as much as me).

That said, it should come as no surprise that I don't dabble that much in drugstore make-up. I will pick up a lipgloss now and again because I chronically lose lipglosses, but I hardly ever buy anything else. This is not necessarily because I'm a horrible, materialistic label whore of a person. Growing up, I had very, very pale skin, and just couldn't find foundation in cheap brands. Or, rather, I guess I could, but they all made me look like an Oompah Loompah. So, because she did not want to live with someone who regularly swims in chocolate rivers, my mother would take me on a monthly pilgrimage to the Prescriptives counter to buy my foundation. And the Clinique counter. And then the Lancome. What can I say? We both love make-up. I have very fond memories of visiting the Kingsport mall Proffitts with nothing but an empty afternoon spreading before us, getting free make-overs from the bored salesladies, and indulging in moisturizers and this and that. It was a treat. At age 13, I remember thinking that real rebellion was more about Maybelline Ultraliner and Great Lash Mascara than my pot smoking, Nirvana worshipping 18 year old boyfriend (a fact that I'm sure my mother sorely disagreed with).

So imagine my surprise that I have revisited the Maybelline counter, and have had some pretty damn fine results. It has actually happened on three seperate occasions, thus you're getting three product reviews tonight (rock on!). Our first product.....

Maybelline Superstay Foundation--Alright my little pelmenis, let it be said that I have a hard time with foundation. And I'm also the kiss of death when it comes to one that I like--I decide that I love it, can't live without it, and then two weeks later it is discontinued. The funny thing about this one is, I don't know quite why I bought it. I don't even really remember buying it. I think I got it at Target...maybe I was drunk? Just kidding--I don't get drunk very often (despite the rather authoritative voice I used in the last post...). Whatever. I bought this stuff with a near full thing of BareMinerals at home, as well as a nearly 1/4 full bottle of MAC Mineralsomethingorother Liquid Foundation. So I didn't need foundation. But for whatever reason, I bought this. And it is actually nice. Really nice. First off, it matches my skin tone, which is not the miraculous happening it used to be--my skin has wisened with age and is a bit darker since I moved to CA and determined that books don't necessarily have to be read in a dark room whilst listening to Nirvana's Unplugged in New York and sobbing. And it lasts. That Superstay thing? Not a marketing ploy. This stuff does last. Perhaps it's the attached primer like substance? Perhaps its the fact that its probably made of carcinogens and the powder of ground up horse bones (I'm a real make-up elitist, aren't I)? Whatever reason, this stuff is damn fine. And it costs something like $8 or so. A good deal.

An even better deal? This little pot of blush I bought off the clearance end cap at Long's for about $2.49. Maybelline Dream Mousse Blush is a cute little cream blush that comes in standard blush colors and provides an airy touch to your makeup. Of course, you can't find the color I bought anymore--it's strawberry something if you want to rebel and look for it anyway--because it is discontinued (thus my rock bottom price). The thing is though, this is good blush. It provides a sheer wash of color that is very translucent, and "like your cheeks, only better." So it's probably good even in a non-discontinued color (and not a whole ton more expensive). Just make sure that you're only using a bit. I'm betting this stuff could take you from zero to Baby Jane in 3.2 seconds flat. Not that I've tried. But as long as you're careful, try it out. Just steer clear of this foundation (the Dream Mousse kind). My mom bought some when she was hungry once (it's called a mousse, you see, and we're big French dessert lovers, my mom and I) and it made her look like a drag queen. A cheap one. With a make-up line. Yugh.

Finally, we come to my newest (ok, probably not newest...I'd be embarassed to admit how many lipglosses I've bought since I bought this one) lipgloss purchase....Maybelline Shine Seduction Something or Other. I actually bought this when my mom was in town and I was at Long's getting medication for my kidney infection. TMI? Maybe. Anyway, I saw it and thought it looked like the poorer girl's version of Revlon LipGlide, a cheap thrill that I also have in my arsenal. And I bought it. In the color Pink Whisper. And here's the cool thing...it totally eradicates the one thing I dislike about Revlon Lipglide--the little white fuzzy thing at the top that the lip stuff shoots out of. You know that thing? I hate it. Why? Because when you buy it, it's all pure and white and cute, and then the lipgloss comes squirting out of the little holes in the top, and it's such a good junxtaposition between the lipgloss and the white...and then you smush it on your lips, and it is never white again. Maybelline Shine Seduction takes that problem away because your lipgloss comes shooting out of a clear plastic applicator. And that's not all...I would consider this a light lipgloss in that it is not sticky or heavy, and feels pretty natural on the lips. And the color is pretty. Pink Whisper is a "like your lips only prettier" shade that is just a bit shiny, not overwhelmingly I-just-put-on-lipgloss obvious. I like it. My only complaint is that for some reason, the smell reminds me of this anti-bug oil that my grandmother used to put on me when it was summer and we went to visit my aunt at Boone Lake. Not a good smell. I mean, it's not blatantly obvious, and it could just be me. In fact, it is most likely just me, because this afternoon when I got home from work, my lips still full of Maybelline (and probably botulism), my husband gave me a big kiss, and then commented that my lips tasted nice. Which is totally unlike him. You know how much I love lipgloss? Yeah, Matt hates it just about the same amount. Which makes for an interesting marriage, let me tell you.

So that's that. Maybelline products are good. They are not made out of horse hooves and infectious disease. You should buy some. More product reviews later, of more expensive things that make me feel like a douche for owning them.