What I Would Really Want to Wear, Were I Not a Chubby Girl Living In The Burbs

I've been reading a lot of things lately about the cultivation of one's own personal style. I, of course, am all for that, and feel that I have my own style rather locked in place. I would describe it as this: one part J.Crew catalog, one part business casual and two parts depressed English major, shaken and served over ice in a cheap Ikea martini glass. Oh, and with a sidecar of rabid baseball fan. Must not forget that.

Anyway, I've always seen these features in fashion magazines talking about personal style, and seriously, when those bitches talk about personal style, those bitches talk about personal style. Like X-treme personal style. As in, if you enjoy jeans, you are All-American. Nothing else. If you have a lace blouse, you're Victorian. That's it. There's no mixing of the fashion magazine personal style. You're this or you're that.

And of course I buy right into this because, well, I'm not that bright and shiny pictures of pretty women get me every time. And I always think that if I were to adopt one of these personal styles, I would definitely pick whatever the slutty offering is. It's sometimes called "bombshell," it's sometimes called "sexy," but whatever the thing is with the pencil skirts and the plunging v-neck sweaters, that's what I would go with. Mostly because I like to nurse my inner slut. But also because I love this hairstyle:

Seriously, if I didn' t work in an office or suffer from a real inability to style my hair, I would wear a bouffant every freakin' day. And also fishnet hose.